The Adventures of Captain Ruby, Kai Baby
by the80sman-aka-rubenzepeda
Summary: a story i made for friend after we had this crazy idea if our teacher was a pervert and we were super heros


_**THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN RUBY, KAI BABY, SERGEANT WATERMELON, AND GENERAL JARREY**_

_** CHAPTER 1: MR. LILLY ATTACKS**_

___**Mr. Lilly's Class August 21 2009 2:03**_

_**Based On A True Story:)**_

Our story begins in Mr. Lilly's 6th period algebra 1 class. The whole class was already waiting for Mr. Lilly inside. Four normal students' lives were soon about to change after this day for ever. Ruben Zepeda, Kailee Simmons, Lauren Hoyer, and Jared Lemke were sitting in the back corner in Mr. Lilly's class cracking jokes. Ruben said, "Wow! Mr. Lilly is really late today." Jared said, "He's probably with his inflatable wife giving her a 'blow job' cause I heard she was down a couple of pounds per square inch of air than normal last night." Lauren said, "Ha ha ha ha ha that's so funny he probably is!" Kailee said, "Wait why is principal Lewis doing here?" Principal Lewis, the principal of Vintage High School walked to the front of the class and asked for our attention. Principal Lewis said, "Hey everybody I need your attention please. Your teacher, Mr. Lilly has gone completely bonkers and has gone to the preschool facility across town and has the preschoolers hostage. The Napa Police Department has been assigned to a different case so they can't help us in our time of need. But we have a plan B. Ruben Zepeda, , Kailee Simmons, Lauren Hoyer, and Jared Lemke please follow me we need your help immediately. Bring your belongings. Ruben, Kailee, Lauren, and Jared walked out the door and followed Mr. Lewis outside. Mr. Lewis lead us to a portable close to the main Office. He turn on the lights and handed us a bullet proof vest to everyone of us and said, "Get suited up." Lauren said, "Wait, what are these for?" Mr. Lewis said, "you guys are the best we got for now until more help." Mr. Lewis then looked at Lauren and said, "Lauren, you are good with computers... I've seen you type. All I see is your little white fingers tapping keys at like 80 MPH so you are our computer specialist and in head of communications. And Kailee I've seen you take out white tail deer from like a mile away. You are now our team's sniper. Ruben I've seen you play all of The Grand Theft Auto games your good with a gun so you will be our gunman. and Jared I have do not have the slightest clue on what your good at but you will be the team's back up member and driver. Ok the next thing on the list is coming up with code names for each other. I must go and check on the teacher I will be back in a couple of minutes to give you further instructions." Jared said, "Wow I knew Mr. Lilly was crazy but not kidnapping crazy you know?" Lauren said," Yeah I totally agree with you." Ruben whispered to Kailee, "She always agrees with Jared." Kailee raised an eyebrow and said, "Do any of you guys want some gum?" Kailee pulled out a pack of gum. Extra Watermelon flavor. Lauren said, "Ugh, no thank you I'm allergic to artificial watermelon." Ruben said, "Lauren, what the fuck is artificial watermelon?" Jared and Kailee said in unison, "Yeah! what's artificial watermelon?" Lauren said, "It's watermelon flavored snacks, gum, or juice and I'm allergic to artificial watermelon gum." Kailee said, "That can be your code name, 'Watermelon'." Lauren said, "Oh, that's a horrible name if mines Watermelon, then Jared's should be Jarrey!" Jared said, "Fuck! Why Jarrey?" Ruben said, "Mine should be Ruby, that is my nickname anyways. Well now we need one for Kailee." Jared said, "How about Kai-Baby?" Kailee said, "Whatever that's cool." Mr. Lewis soon came in with and said, "Did you guys make code names for each other?" Everybody said, "Yeah!" Mr. Lewis said, "Ok then Lauren follow me." Mr. Lewis unlocked one of four closets. Inside this closet was a computer made specially for Lauren. (P.S. 100% Not Made With Artificial Watermelon.) This Computer had all of the Security cameras from the preschool shooting live footage to the computer. Lauren said, "Wow these are all the cameras from the preschool? Oh My God I see Mr. Lilly! Ewww! he's dancing!. Oh no he's grinding on that little girl that sick bastard. Do we have audio?" Mr. Lewis hit a key on the computer and now Lauren would be able to hear and see Mr. Lilly. Lauren said, "Oh no Mr. Lilly is fired up! He's playing I Got A Felling by the Black Eye'd Peas!" Mr. Lewis said, "Oh lord that sounds bad I guess we should hurry up. Kailee follow me." Mr. Lewis unlocked the second closet and inside were sniper rifles. Mr. Lewis said, "Chose the one that is best for you." Kailee picked up and placed an ammo cartridge into a SVD Dragunov Sniper rifle and pulled back the cocking mechanism and place four ammo cases in her jacket and said, "This one will do." Mr. Lewis soon called Ruben. Mr. Lewis opened the 3rd closet and inside were assault rifles. Mr. Lewis said, "Choose one." Ruben picked up an M-16A2 assault rifle and picked up four ammo clips as well. Ruben said, "We don't get any secondary weapons?" Mr. Lewis said, "Hold your horses damn it where getting to that now." He opened up the final closet and inside were pistols and submachine guns. Lauren stood up and got a pistol. a .45 Compact to be exact. Kailee got two Glock 18c pistols. Ruben got two Berretta 92fs pistols. And Jarred needed to arm himself on the count that he didn't have a primary weapon. Jared got a micro Uzi. Mr. Lewis soon lead Jared and the rest of the crime stopping unit to the front parking lot. Outside was a Black 2004 Cadillac Escalade Ext. Mr. Lewis said, "The windows are completely bullet proof. The truck is hooked up to Two 10 Lbs. NX Nitrous Oxide Bottles. Just in case you guys need extra speed you'll know its there." Mr. Lewis then gave Jared the keys and Jared got in the driver seat and started her up. Ruben yelled, "Shotgun!" Ruben sat in the passenger side. Kailee and Lauren sat in the back. Jared put it into first gear and speed of to the first location.

_**13 Minutes Later On A Hill **_

General Jarrey parked the Escalade and looked back at Agent Kai- Baby and Sergeant Watermelon and said, "Well this is your guys' stop." Agent Kai-Baby and Sergeant Watermelon got their guns and equipment and jumped off. General Jarrey said while handing headsets to Agent Kai-Baby and Sergeant Watermelon, "Here, Mr. Lewis wants us to keep in touch through out the mission." Agent Kai-Baby said, "Be careful you guys! Don't get killed and remember our goal to take the evil Mr. Lilly down!" Captain Ruby just nodded his head and General Jarrey said, "Keep a good eye out on us." General Jarrey kicked the Escalade into 1st gear and sped off to the Preschool to take down Mr. Lilly. Captain Ruby pulled back the cocking mechanism on the Berettas' and put them in his holsters and said, "I'll go in first and you wait for me outside until I need your help, Ight? General Jarrey said, "Do you think these bullet proof vests are strong enough to stop whatever Mr. Lilly is packing?" Captain Ruby said, "I hope so. These feel so weak. Stupid Economy just had to get fucked up when we needed good gear." General Jarrey tried communicating to Sergeant Watermelon and Agent Kai-Baby. General Jarrey said, "Hey guys, is Mr. Lilly still there?" Sergeant Watermelon said, "Well the security cameras are showing me that he's sitting on a chair in the middle of the room." Captain Ruby said, "Why is he sitting in the middle of the room? Even more important where are the preschoolers?" Agent Kai-Baby said, "I can't see the kids through the scope." Sergeant Kai-Baby yelled, "OMG! the kids are giving Mr. Lilly lap dances!" (eww:P) Agent Kai-Baby pulled the sniper from her shoulder and said through the headset, "Captain Ruby and General Jarrey get there quick and stop him!" Sergeant Lauren said while looking at the computer, "Oh crap his wife is there she's heavily armed." Agent Kai-Baby said, "Oh shit I see her I have my shot lined up ready to fire. Huh? is she inflatable or does she have a human pulse? I'll find out after I shoot her." Captain Ruby said, "Noooo! don't wait till we're ready were trying to find a parking space. Dang it General Jarrey I told you we didn't fit here!" General Jarrey said, "Found one." Captain Ruby got out and grabbed his M-16 and told General Jarrey, "Ok you will wait out here by the truck and if I need help I'll call you okay." Sergeant Watermelon yelled through the headset, "Captain Ruby hurry up he pulled out a condom he has his eyes on the cute brunette!" Captain Ruby ran and said, "Now Kai-Baby pull the trigger! Shoot the bitch!" Agent Kai-Baby pulled the trigger on the SVD Dragunov sniper and shot a bullet into the head of Mr. Lilly's wife. once the bullet hit her head Mr. Lilly's wife immediately blew up and started to fly around the preschool. Sergeant Watermelon said, "Huh, she was inflatable." Captain Ruby shot a couple of rounds at the front door scaring the shit out of Mr. Lilly making him drop his condom and the cute brunette and making him pick up a Scar-12 assault rifle. The preschoolers ran for cover. Captain Ruby called General Jarrey, "Hey I need you to go around back and rescue the kids from the window while I fight of Mr. Lilly." General Jarrey said, "Okay I'm on my way!" Agent Kai-Baby was trying to get a good shot at Mr. Lilly but he kept moving. Mr. Lilly fired a couple of shots at Captain Ruby but he took cover behind a wall. Captain Ruby fired back. General Jarrey ran around back and shot a couple of rounds from his micro Uzi to break out the window. General Jarrey jumped in. In search of the kids General Jarrey found an empty bottle of Viagra on the ground. He ran into classrooms looking for the kids Sergeant Watermelon guiding him over the computer. Kai-Baby soon had a good shot at Mr. Lilly but before she could pull the trigger Mr. Lilly wasn't in her view anymore. she pulled the sniper away from her shoulder and looked at the computer screen with Sergeant Watermelon and said, "What happened to Mr. Lilly?" Sergeant Watermelon said, "IDK, but General Jarrey found the kids." General Jarrey said, "Ok, I found the kids. There a little bit shaken up but there ok. I'm taking them to the Escalade." Agent Kai-Baby soon heard Captain Ruby's voice and he said, "Hey I don't see Mr. Lilly anymore. He hasn't fired back. I didn't even shoot him yet." Agent Kai-Baby said, "Yeah I don't see him either. Sergeant Watermelon is looking for him." Sergeant Watermelon said, "Oh shit! I think he's wounded or something he's laying in the middle of room." Captain Ruby walked into the room and looked at the floor. Mr. Lilly was lying there. Captain Ruby checked for a pulse. Captain Ruby said, "Call 9-1-1 he's blacked out but not wounded either."

_**10 minutes later.**_

Agent Kai-Bay and Sergeant Watermelon had arrived at the scene with Captain Ruby and General Jarrey. Everybody was wondering why Blacked out. Soon the Paramedics arrived and began to inspect . Mr. Lewis arrived and said, "You guys did a hell of a job. won't be messing with anymore preschoolers booty holes for a long time." Captain Ruby, Agent Kai-Baby, General Jarrey, and Sergeant Watermelon walked to the paramedic and asked him, "Why did Mr. Lilly suddenly passed out?" The doctor said, "Well our little sicko had an erection lasting more than 4 hours after taking some Viagra and his blood rushed to his D**k and he passed out." General Jarrey pulled out the bottle of Viagra from his pocket and said, "That explains this." Everybody started laughing. The Crime Stopping Unit decided to celebrate the victory by getting Frappichinos at Starbucks until Mr. Lewis said, "Where are you guys going there's still 20 more minutes of 6th period left go back to school!" Agent Kai-Baby said, Do You guys think we will ever see Mr. Lilly again?: Captain Ruby said, "Nah, because he will be in prison for what he did to the poor Preschoolers and the only booty he will be getting is prison booty hahahah!" Ruben, Kailee, Jared, and Lauren went back to their 6th period class...To be Continued

CHAPTER 2 OF THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN RUBY, AGENT KAI-BABY, GENERAL JARREY, AND SERGEANT WATERMELON COMMING SOON!


End file.
